Thursday, June 25, 2015

chilling

Chilling means...... you just have to come to work doing nothing and still get paid! and uh oh uhm, just in my dreams.

Well, the fact that I could still write a post while working means that I am not busy but I still have something to do in work okay. It's just sometimes I feel tired of reading too much articles that it somehow urges me to update more frequent on my blog.

It's Thursday and it's one day closer to weekend!!! Now that I am working, although I am still an intern, I value and realise the true meaning of weekends! haha. Weekends mean I could getting up late like really late ( I can't get up this late (read: 2pm/3pm) when I am back home haha) and I could spend a day doing nothing but browsing at my laptop and movie marathon or in my case: k-dramas marathon!

I guess my elder sis could not stand me slacking around and well, I also decided to do something more useful. I actually hate working out but due to all those unutilized fats, I need to do something to myself before reaching my expiration date and still alone haha. I tried working out with the help from my e-personal trainer from youtube and it's so tiring! I tried Joanna Soh as her work out exercises are easy to follow. But it doesn't last long anyway, the next morning I can't really move my thigh, legs, arms as I have been absent for a long period. (all I did when I was back in school was cardio)

So she suggested me to do skipping and I agreed on it as I saw there's a Disney skipping rope in Robinsons. hehehe



It looks exactly like that and that has been my routine now every night starting yesterday. skipping all the way!

Monday, June 22, 2015

Growing Up.

10 days ago I turned twenty. It was a nice, intimate birthday when I celebrated with my elder sister and my closer friends here. It was quite different as it has been five years since the last birthday that I celebrated with my elder sister (she went abroad to study and two years later, I followed her path but we are in different countries). So everything seemed so nice as I could finally celebrate my birthday with family member after two years, although my parents and the other members are in hometown.
 
Nevertheless, I am forever grateful about what god has planned and given on me, and I would strive to be a better person. :) As I was stepping on the #twenties club, it freaks me a little. It's not about the age or maturity but it's more like I have to be responsible on my own. Well, it's not like I have been relying on others these time but financially, I have been getting numerous support from my family. and with just one more year left till my bachelor degree, I feel like "oh shoot, this life thing is getting real". The thought of having to find a job when I don't really know what I might do later ( well, I kind of have that vision on what job that I would do but would I really like it? can I come to office without having any burden? will I do well in my workplace? would my colleague like me? would they backstab me? would my performance be disappointing ?). So I have been thinking about that sometimes these days (probably because I am interning right now) and it truly scares me. The world outside truly scares me that now I wish I was younger! (okay its getting absurd).
 
When I thought about my future workplace, all I see is countless sleeps, working my ass off in the office, OT everyday, no more lazy weekends, smaller social circle and no more freedom (14 days off in one year? no more summer holiday/ winter break oemji ). The thoughts that I am going to OT everyday and I would be too tired to hang out during weekends, and that I would stuck in my work life without any friends/partner/families to rely on just haunt me. Many said that we could balance our work life and social life but how about when we were really busy with our job that we even don't have time to hang out? using those weekends staying at the office? or even worst, would I hate my job and work that hard just because I need to survive? or when I finally have my career I lost my social life and without knowing, everyone has build his own families? argh! I need to scroll my Instagram and read those motivational quotes.
 
I know there are a lot of wonderful things that I could do after graduating but I don't know, it seems I am not mentally ready for the outside world.  I know I would always be not ready, the same thing when I studied abroad and  it would come along with the process.
 
I just hope that during the process, I am more ready than when I was 17, and that I would not make any fatal decision and be a more competent and mature person. Bless me, Buddha!

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

free fall.

I don't know if this is because of the internship things or whatever. Sometimes, I just feel sad for no reason. and oh well, lately I have become a loner. I work during weekdays and on weekends, I just feel tired, not really wanting to meet people unless it's really urgent and yup, spend most of the weekends at home.

Actually not most weekends, it's more like I still go hang out but it's just I don't go all day. I don't know why I am so moody these days.

and to get my mood back, I decided to go to Universal Studio to hop on those thrilling rides, experiencing those euphoria to replace my illogical moody feelings.

Friday, June 5, 2015

where?

Life doesn't always give what you want, but if you have faith and work hard, sometimes it would give you enough.