Tuesday, May 26, 2015

oh haiiii

the urge to blog is quite strong these few days. Probably because I am rereading my old posts these days. and realizing how old I am now. T.T

3 weeks more and it would be the end of my so called teenage years. I would be coming to the twenties club soon and oh lord, I am old now. alright, that's too much, but I am one step closer to be an old hag. okay, that's way too much.

anyway, it just felt so weird that last time when I went back to hometown, a lot of random people are addressing me with "miss" instead of "kid". and the feelings just get so much real when I am in Indo. There is so much difference being called "dek" rather than "mbak / kak". I kind of got so shocked being addressed like that (alright I know I am waaaaay too much) that I even told my mom that those waiters were being impolite. and of course; to my so not-surprise, my mom wittily replied me, "Then what should they call you? a princess?". That moment, I know I'm slowly aging (hehehe hormones people its hormones)

I want to be forever 15. or 17. but wait, I need to be 21 to be legal right? I guess that's why they came up with the brand forever21 but not forever18/forever20

uhm, this post is totally random. hehe. 45 minutes to the end of office hours. I think I am too happy to write a decent post. haha.

Monday, May 25, 2015

sunkissed.

two and half hours more to go and I could go home!

yup, still in the office and I am so stuck writing the sales summary report that I decide to post more on my blog. I did the same thing too last year while I was interning. and I kinda miss the people that I met last summer. They are so annoying yet they (although I don't really want to say this) made my internship more colourful.

It has been nearly five months of my stay at Singapore and strangely I could feel that my attachment towards this country has been slowly decreasing. I don't know if I miss HK way too much or I am already bored of this country but I guess it's a good thing for a baby like me. I don't want to cry hysterically every time I go back to HK and hopefully in my third year, I could hold all tears and be a stronger kid.

and you know what, I think I have completely moved on. This month might just be another usual month but I realised that it's that time. The time where I could completely assure myself that I no longer depend on that person, and without him that I am doing fine. Although there wasn't any romantic relationship between us, I couldn't deny that during our friendship that I actually expected more. and I think because of that, I could easily move on and heal completely. but well, I am sad of losing a good friend.

To a wonderful year ahead, cheers!, and
To the one with endless tricks to prank and bully me, i miss you! :) (only during internship period lol)

Monday, May 18, 2015

ah yeah

So I decided to extend my stay at Singapore. I got an internship offer here and actually when I first received the news, I got this kind of mixed feelings. I mean, it's really obvious that I really like Singapore and there's no reason for me to not rejecting this opportunity. But, the main thing is the scope of the job that is totally irrelevant to the field I'm studying. It's more towards business, and as much as I love being an office-worker (you know, for someone who is studying civil that should be mentally prepared for all the heats in sites, I really wish to work in office in the future), it just seems unfit to me. oh and moreover, at first I thought that I wouldn't mind doing a business internship program as I always feel that engineering is not really my thing. It's more like I like studying engineering but in someway, I always felt that I will end up in business industry. So when I got this opportunity, I really don't know what to do.

But in the end I decided to take it cause actually my plan A is to go back to HK, and to do an internship at a civil consulting company. I previously worked in a supplier company and this time, I thought I could secure an internship in a consulting company. Well, until now I haven't received any news from them and being me, I couldn't take any risk that I decided to take this offer.

I don't really regret taking this offer actually, it has only been my second week as an intern and I actually learn a lot and adapt myself to a different working environment. My colleagues are all nice and my supervisor, although we don't really interact much, he's good mentor. So I am actually happy about this opportunity but it's just there's something in myself that tells me that how incompetent I am that I couldn't land an internship in HK. and what hurts me more is like I could get an offer last year. It's kind of funny actually, that when I was in year 2, lacking experiences, and yet there's still a good company that offered me an internship program. Now that I am a penultimate year student, I received no news from those companies that I have been applying.

It's just I am so sad, and I feel so helpless and couldn't help to compare myself with others when I heard some of my friends got internship offer. I know maybe I couldn't handle this peer pressure thing, but I just couldn't excuse myself.

I know this sounds that I am way too exaggerating over something that is not a problem but I am just disappointed with myself. I am just going to express all my thoughts here and I believe tomorrow is going to be a better day and I would work harder!