Monday, May 23, 2011


So i guess it's the end for us now. all my waiting seemed so useless, and effortless, i dreamed too high , and i fell over and over again. my expectations are way too high, and i didn't even notice a change that came. i was attacked by once. being teared in two pieces. and i have never thought that it will be this hurts. i can't feel a thing. nothing is right. i am in pain.

maybe you will never know how strong this feeling might be. maybe you'll never realize though. i know i am the stupidest person existing in this earth.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

You and Me.

i don't know what to type and what to tell you. Everything seemed so complicated.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Part of me.

Hi. Life's pathetic nowadays. I am going to have exams approximately in 9 days more and again i feel so unprepared for everything. This time is our finale exam and i am now in Semester 3, which according to teachers starting from Semester 3 until the end, they are the most important terms during our school time. I know I shouldn't procrastinate anymore and start revising, but the temptation to blog is just too huge to be ignored. and that will only mean it's exactly one year left till the day i graduate. Everything is just too fast. I could see how my seniors feel so bad about their graduation, the moment that they become freshmen, no more high school year, and farewells. but still i can't wait the moment till i was settled to somewhere else, living all by myself, exploring the new place, continuing my further studies, receiving my bachelor degree, falling in love and maybe got married.

p.s. and i think i miss you more day by day. maybe we don't have that fate, maybe we won't have an happy ending, but still i am here hoping.

Topaz Eyes.

Ah i guessed my blog sometimes is so plain oh maybe it's really pain from the first time? i realized that there's no photos in my blog, it's all way too simple to be true. and I haven't updated since last time. I have been feeling so empty recently. I always feel that i am being covered by inanity and i am like suffering long-term depression. It seemed like something always haunted me, and Problems keep coming up. I can't just let go everything. There should be a time when all my angers come into once and they are going to explode without any exact time.

I know i shouldn't be this stubborn but please, everyone has gotten his selfishness. and i am fighting for my own sake, standing alone, all by myself.

I can't let go.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


Maybe we weren't meant to be together.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


Bonjour ! Alright i know it's night already but i just want to break the ice between ...... HAHAHA! forget it, i am mumbling. So how's day people? I am seriously tired after a full day of tuition and now i am sitting here to edit my project, which is due to Tomorrow. I don't know if i keep complaining about my school life, but it's so tiriingggggg. feel like my bones are going to break into two or four pieces, way too tired!! and of course, problems seemed to be inevitable, they say problems make you mature, but i thought they are making me older? since i am so worried about everything and lack of sleep, my face seemed to be so not normal, small wrinkles? my tiring face, that's truly showing I'm getting older!

ignore this post. Bye

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Walls have ears.

Hi, readers. It's May already, don't you think time flies too fast? In just a blink of eye, it's May, followed by June and there goes another months. That means I'm turning sixteen soon, well that's not my main point, I mean something new will begin. School life has just begun, no more holidays, exams are waiting. Hello, my dear pathetic schedule.

I wonder how easy it is to turn from the ones who cause everything to the ones who pretend like everything didn't ever happen. I'm not being mellow or sarcastic but that's what I'm trying to express. I don't have any intention to drag this matter to become longer or even making it worse, but all i feel is the unfairness. I can't just let go.

anyway, last night i slept earlier. I could say last night was the earliest time that i slept. HAHA! I slept at 8 pm ! LOL I don't know why , but maybe it was because i was so tired, and i just slept like that, and today i woke up the earliest time ( of my own will ) at 7.30 am! HAHAHAHAHA

I spotted this on Herdiyenti 's blog. It's actually me and her in the picture (of course), it was taken a week ago, when we went to Karen's treat.