Friday, December 31, 2010

hello, 2011

Hello. 2010 is going to end soon. Approximately in 4 hours. Just a little bit flash back to 2010, there are so many important events happening this year. Something unexpected comes, although i have some failures too. Got very much disappointments through this year. well, shouldn't look back for the past. anyway, i need to say that 2010 gives me the greatest moments of the year. i never regret of saying that 2010 is wonderful for me. cause there's somebody out there. well, not being like im-in-love-moody. and im not. :D.anyway, it's new year, so i will leave anything bad behind. and those sweet memories, will be everlasting. will be the moments that i will miss. and i should make new resolutions.

first of all, i wanna improve, be better, especially in grades. i have done so bad in school, and i wanna improve it. i just want everything to be better, and improved. and i thought this year is going to be a tough one for me. as im going to get everything's done for this upcoming year. and guess what? maybe this year is going to be last year of my high school year. that i will spend this year preciously. maybe i will have (again) some Chinese proficiency test, and English too. i just hope everything can be done perfectly, or maybe smoothly. and i need to prepare everything, thinking up what major that i want. yet mama and papa always said that i need to prepare for the uni entrance test that will be held next year. one year to go! that will be my goal for this year. so i need to work hard! and i need to be more mature, be tougher in facing everything. i believe that i will still encounter many obstacles during my life, but i won't give up, if i give up, that will only mean i am just babbling. i wanna aim for the best, with my best effort. ;)

there's no gain without pain right? :D.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

i do know my heart, but i don't know yours.

again. i feel so bad for myself. i don't know what's happening but i keep disappointing myself, and of course my parents. i don't know. i have put my best efforts, or it isn't enough from beginning? i saw the others, we are both same , but they go more. they get more, they achieve more. i was like , " why can't i be like them?" i know i am too shallow to have a thought like that. but at the moment, i felt this kind of disappointment. . seemed like everything that i have done doesn't end good. or is it me who ruin everything? i am lost. got no path to walk on. i know i still can pass it, but now it is the matter of the scores. people wont see your grade, but they see numbers. although you get a grade A but your score is just average, that's so fail to meet a success. that's so average score, i know i should be grateful enough. guess i am daydreaming too much. i really don't know what to do. can things go right without to fix it? i am so tired of making everything becomes right. i thought that everything is at the right place from the yeah, i need to calm, i still have another chance. and i do believe in second chance. i should gather all my energy and be strong. i should be tough. i should endeavor. never stop trying. there's always a rainbow after heavy rain with thunders and storms right? i know im being too indecisive and too fragile. leaving 2010, i should start with a new goals, and aim for higher success. the most important thing for me now is future. i shouldn't get any distractions. concentrate, hello jennessia chance!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

i jump,you catch?

Merry christmas everyone! am i too late? -_- sorry, i am out of town for like 5 days. yesterday i went back, and i feel so exhausted. i will post some photos of mine later. and will tell you about my holiday. have i mentioned that i am on holiday? yes, h
oliday is now, and there's no time that i am going to waste even a second. anyway, i miss my journal book. yes,i have been writing on a book. like a diary book, but more like journal. i don't have any idea what pushes me to write a journal. but the idea came just crossed my mind, and i was like" why not?" yet writing has been my passion lately. back to it, my book is in my sister's place now. yes, i sent it to my sis because i wanted her to read it. nothing special, just wanted to show it. and now i feel like i want to buy a new book to write. well, the old book sucks, maybe that's one of many reasons why i send it to my big sis. but until now, i haven't found it. i have been spending today all along at home. since the first day of holiday i have out from town, i miss home so much. no place sounds so better than our home. anyway, medan is so hot! i am a hot girl now! ;p. ready to be served! -_-v


hehe, i painted my nails this color. a little bit brownish. actually i don't like dark colors, but sometimes, why don't we give it a try? ;)

Friday, December 24, 2010

i shouldn't escape.

I know it's christmas eve and i should be happy. But i just can't think of doing other things instead of crying. This is so hurts. I don't know. The thing that i fear the most finally happen. I don't get it wrong. I have got it right, from beginning. It's just because i keep denying all these. I should be more sensible. I escaped way too much. I just didn't dare to accept the truths although there are a lot of proofs. I was too afraid to admit it, and now what to do? Cry. Although there are so many things that need to deal with. I just can't handle it all alone. I can't accept, or maybe i should learn to accept it. Anyone, can you make me amnesia ? I would like to forget all the things that are happening. Even the sweet memories, i wanna have an amnesia now.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

It is known.

i have got two proofs. honestly, there's something that is hidden and i don't know. is it a drama? or just my feeling? even if it's true, i won't fall. at least for now. i should admit that life is so hard. and sometimes i am so tired. yes, let go.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

another day, another drama.

if i find you, i wont give up on you. guess you will be my everything.

cookies and peanuts.

even if it's real, i shouldn't fall. i should be tough.

Hello everyone. how's your sunday? well, i am so tired. i need sleep! yes, i just slept about six hours yesterday since i was watching until midnight. :D.and this morning, i went to my piano tuition , and physics tuition. i ended up staying at my Karen house until we were studying together , having lunch together with my other friends. exam is getting nearer. yes, it's about 3 days to go. i am so afraid, yet so exhausted. i feel like i want to have a long slumber, and then go out for some refreshment. but i guess i need to postpone it. what i need to focus to now is only my exam. i can't make the same mistakes again. once is enough. future is the most important thing. okay, until here. i really need to have some rests. i feel so tired. fatigue.

anyway, i have cut my hair. :d. i shorten it well, you can say i cut the bad lucks. but, it is too short for me. my old hair used to be so long, and i feel a little not comfortable plus no confidence with my new hair. i want my long hair so badly! i have just cut it for one day and now i regret it so much!!.

hello, jennessia chance, you need not to be so sensitive even if it's true. try to be positive thinking, you will know what good thing will come to you. once again, you need to cheer yourself up, for whatever obstacles you may meet.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

i type everything here.

have you ever experienced a condition which makes you to stay still, not to complain even your heart hurts the most?

well yes i have, and i am going to learn from them. i mean, you need to show your pride to them. it's like when you act you don't care, and think that it's okay. they will continue. they wont know until you act differently right? so that's what i am going to do. i wont take it easily, for this time. i promise myself i wont. i just can hold them all. i am going to explode, sooner or later.

it's like exactly 8 days to examination. and i am not ready yet. as usual. anyway, today i attended my friend's birthday party, and we ended up watching "Ghost Writer". It is a good movie, indeed. although i kept typing something on my phone cause i felt afraid. uhm, i have no one beside me. it was an empty seat. -.- overall, it's a good, mysterious , yet confusing movie. :)

and i just realized how time ticks so fast, flies so fast. this year is going to end soon. and that means only one year and another three months left for my senior high school year. just can't believe how my juvenile year will end so soon, and will be replaced by life in university. life's too short, sometimes.

Monday, December 6, 2010

I wish i could fly.

i am so disappointed. especially to myself. i can't do nothing, except accepting the truth. blame everything on me. cause i am the one who causes it. it's me who make the result became so bad. i thought i have put my best effort in it, i thought i have done my best. but still, i am wrong. and this time, i fall. but again, who to blame except myself? i am the one. i am doomed.

and this time, it's too late,even for crying. nothing can change it. it should be done in the very beginning, but well, like what i said. i am the one who made it. i am the silliest one.


My class. taken on 25th of november with our beloved teacher, Ms. Ernawati and Ms. Deliana :D
seven boys with thirteen girls. ahhahaa. That's us. :D

Saturday, December 4, 2010

there's always something.

let me escape. let me go. don't ask. blame myself for whatever happened.i wanna leave. i know you may say i am a cowardice, but still i am going to escape, at least for now.