yesterday, i wonder what will happen if i get it.
it is my way. my target for the last three years. if i didn't pursue it, when i lost it in just a second, i wont be so disappointed. i have felt the feeling of being failed before. therefore, i thought i have understood all the conditions, all the terms, all the qualifications. I do prepare myself to face it, searching the news everything related it with internet. asking some professionals. sometimes , i even dreamed that what if i win it, what will i do about it. dreaming about some good endings.
and when the day came, i did my best. putting all my efforts on it. answering in a good way, smile as friendly as i can. hoping that i will win. dreaming how glad my parents will be. keep absorbing those information and facts and it has, to do well.
but yes, i lost it, and no matter how hard i have tried, i lost it and it wont change.
p.s. i know you have won, but that doesn't mean you are the best. congratulations.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
yeah. on last friday night, i arrived Medan safely after a week at Singapore. well, i must admit that i have a mountain of fun at there. Singapore has developed during these years, and yes i get amazed. It's a small country yet it can improve so far. honestly, i feel ashamed towards my own country. Compared to them, there are more people in my country, human sources actually aren't a problem but yeah. We are nothing to them. ;(. sorry to say this , but this is the fact that we are now facing.
P h o t o s a r e c o m i n g S o o n! :D
Monday, May 10, 2010
im crying and dying inside. i am making a faking smile outside. can you see through?
i don't want to cry but yet these tears don't have a willing to stop. where are you then?
still standing still at there? - quoted. ;b
Sunday, May 2, 2010
will go to singapore by tomorrow. some reasons make me feeling so down. sooner or later, you will go. Let's see in five years later. what will you be, what will i be, what will we become. :). friendship begins everything. stay still in your passion and reach it. i wont lose from you though. :).
and really, i think my passion in majoring piano is up. really, after like you know, changing a new teacher, a new miss, a new professor, a new atmosphere, i play some songs without any pressure. express what i feel, and heard some nice tune is playing. it's more like a song itself has its own message, it's like the song itself has a life. you just need to make it live, to deliver their message to the audience. awesome! cant you imagine a feeling like that? so peaceful and you will be so satisfied that your hard work will be paid off. pianist or pharmacist?
yap, since my sis has graduated from her high school year, my mom and pop have been asking me what i want to be. thinking for a long time, and i decided to become a pharmacist. some people may say why dont i be a doctor? nurse? why i have to be a pharmacist? well, firstly i hate to see blood, i hate to see organs. i will say a big no if dealing with some patients with their body full of blood. a fountain of blood. a big no. i have phobia with that. :). so yeah pharmacist, i love medical studies. :). papa and mama are supporting and well, the formula is 99% hard work + 1% miracle. :D.
sis will study accounting, and i think that papa is encouraging me to get some business studies, well if i failed to go to a medical school i will take a business. but really i will enter a senior year starts from july. and will do a hard work in order to become a pharmacist. hard work is needed. ;b
how about piano then? well i decided i wont stop in learning piano. but i will play it for my own pleasure and sure for some people who wish to hear. i love piano. it's my passion. it's my way to express all my feelings and emotions. wont release it. will hold tight on both of my passion. :D.
brats, you have taken everything from me, can i give you a slap first?
p.s. i will appreciate our talk, our memories, and every single thing that we have made. thank you for everything. :)
Saturday, May 1, 2010
p.s. you make me perfectly. ;b